how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”
#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)
Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.
Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON
harry sitting in the greenhouse garden sipping herbal tea and grading papers
he has regular sunday afternoon tea with mcgonagall
feeds the thestrals with neville every time he goes visit hagrid
hair still one hell of a mess and dressed in weasley sweater and muggle jeans but eyes significantly brighter
“mr. thomas, although the expelliarmus spell has proven to be extremely useful cited in one of the most important battle in history, do consider that it cannot be the only spell you are skilled at. and certainly please do not write ‘this bitch nasty yeet’ in your essay”
still leads the duelling club
holds quidditch match with the other professors
successfully drags the stoic and strict professor with him and tried to push him off his broom
the students can always find him in the gardens and they would all sit down in a crowd around him and he would tell them stories
stories of the adventures he got up to at school
“mom stop freaking out it was just one detention potter got loads of them in school”
carries baby teddy on his hip as he teaches
gives out free chocolate
“i said i have enough trouble for a lifetime and that’s why i went back here to teach bUT MINERVA OLD VOLDY IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE KIDS” “ok but i still love them to bits”
doesn’t give out detention to kids if they sneak back in from the secret passages
generally enjoying a comfortable, normal, peaceful life
“potter why tf did you tell the kids your husband sulked for an hour after you refuse to buy him sweets do you know i have a reputation to uphold ??” “relax draco first off you did sulked for an hour and second off no students knows we’re married” “yeah and that’s because i’m not an oversharing prat teacher, unlike you!!”
the students totally know they’re married
harry cries every time he receives xmas presents from his students
hogwarts is his home and this career is exactly what he needs
ok so.. apparently there’s a bug going around that it makes you block (or makes it appear that you blocked) your mutuals and that they blocked you in turn. i’m just letting you guys know that if it appears that i blocked you, that is 100% not the case and is just tumblr being funky again.
reblogs are ok and appreciated because holy shit this website is a hellhole
Daisy is absolutely enamoured with Harry, right? He is the very best at playing tea parties, – but they don’t tell Eggsy -, always calls her Princess, knows everything about butterflies and never, never, talks to her like she’s stupid, like some other adults do.
So you just imagine the kisses war Daisy and Eggsy get into whenever the three of them are together showering Harry with love. And there’s laughter and such warmth Harry has never even dared to imagine for himself.
There were two professors like this in my department and I was one of like 20 people who was taught by both of them so there was a very small gang of us who knew that Professor Brick Wall and Professor Overshare were married with two kids.
so we have a conversational safeword in my group of friends and it’s great, idk why more people don’t do this. whenever someone wants a subject to be dropped immediately no questions asked we just say “spleen” and we stop immediately and it’s a really good way to avoid crossing the line between teasing friends and genuinely upsetting them by accident, or stopping debates from turning into actual arguments
Wait but no this is actually a brilliant idea.
When I was a little baby high school student, I used to do the Living Chessboard at our local Renaissance Faire. We always used “forsooth” to indicate if someone was actually injured and needed to quickly end a choreographed fight. It was also very useful when doing little street improvisations because if someone tried to stop you, you could say “forsooth good sir, I must leave.” and they knew you couldn’t do a scene right then. We all used it in real life too, to say “no really” and it was amazing because there was a word used in a casual setting that meant “I’m not playing, I need you do listen to me.” So if someone tried to pick me up or tickle me, I could say “forsooth stop.” And I was instantly obeyed. I had “forsooth” long before I learned what a safeword was, and having a non-sexual safeword for everyday use amongst a circle of friends was the best thing ever. It made me feel very safe and listened to, even as a tiny 14 year old. Because let’s be honest, 14 year old me was teeny tiny and adorable and it’s easy to coo at kids when they say “no don’t pick me up!” but to have a word that every single person respected to mean “whatever I say after this MUST be listened to” was amazing. It gave me a definitive voice when it would have been easy to dismiss me.
So basically having platonic safewords is awesome and I’m all for it.
FantasyBoudicca 